So it’s spooky time, and instead of doing something productive like making a Flukeman costume, we’ve taken a dive back into The X-Files—specifically the ‘Monsters of the Week’ episodes. Sure, everyone talks about the alien conspiracy, and don’t get me wrong, I love digging into the mythology arc as much as anyone. But what about the ones that still keep us up at night? Whether it’s from the hellish nightmares or those 3 a.m. ‘what is my existence?’ thoughts, these episodes have a way of sticking with you. You’ve been waiting for more so let’s go reignite those childhood fears…or joys.

Bad Blood- Season 5, ep 12: I’ve got a thing for unreliable narrators, especially when both Mulder and Scully are on storytelling duty. Bad Blood is classic Vince Gilligan, mixing absurdity with just enough Halloween flavor to make the list. And it kicks off with one of the best openings in the series: Mulder stakes what he’s sure is a vampire, only for Scully to poke around, reveal the fake fangs, and leave Mulder mid-“Oh shi…”—an unforgettable start to a totally bonkers episode. Originally, Gilligan had planned for an Unsolved Mysteries crossover featuring Robert Stack and two no-name Mulder and Scully stand-ins, but when that idea got shelved, he turned to The Dick Van Dyke Show’s “The Night the Roof Fell” for inspiration, delivering the classic “two sides of the story”—X-Files style.

Every scene is packed with comedy: Mulder kicking a trashcan, Scully craving pizza mid-autopsy, Mulder fumbling with slides and making priceless expressions, and that memorable back-and-forth on the magic fingers motel bed. And we can’t skip Mulder’s insistence he did not sing the Shaft theme (even though we know better). Mulder’s convinced he’s chasing a real vampire, while Scully’s version has her watching Mulder trip over his own biases at every turn. Then we have Luke Wilson’s Sheriff Hartwell full of true Texas twang, who’s either impossibly smooth or a bucktoothed bumpkin, depending on whose story you believe.

In Mulder’s account, he’s all charm and quiet reserve, while Scully comes across as the hardcore, no-nonsense one—like she’s the one packing all the machismo. But at its core, Bad Blood isn’t about vampires; it’s about Mulder and Scully’s partnership and how they each view each other—and their bizarre world—in very different, yet very telling, ways.

Field Trip- Season 6, ep 21: There’s a heightened anxiety in Field Trip that messes with your sense of reality. When the Lone Gunmen start acting sketchy and Scully’s suddenly filling Mulder’s shoes in the conspiracy theory department, you know something’s gone seriously sideways. I was transfixed the entire time, even though I felt like my brain needed a break from the mental gymnastics.

We’ve got everything: tripping in a field, yellow digestive goo, hallucinogenic mushrooms—Mother Nature at her best. The whole episode feels like one long fever dream, complete with Mulder and Scully questioning their own sanity. And just when you think they’ve escaped the madness, holding hands as they drive away, you remember: humongous fungus among us. Yep, that’s a true story. Look up an old Popular Science article titled “Humungous Fungus Among Us”—it’s about a mushroom that covers about a third of Oregon.

What really makes this episode stand out is Scully pulling a Mulder move with some next-level abductive reasoning. Usually, it’s Mulder making the wild connections, but this time, Scully pieces together the facts—giant mushrooms, hallucinogenic fungi, and plants with a taste for human snacks—leading her to a nightmare conclusion: they’re trapped underground, tripping hard, and slowly being digested. Written by John Shiban and Vince Gilligan from a story by Frank Spotnitz, it’s got everything—tension, unpredictability, and a creeping sense of ‘what is real anymore?’

For some fans, this episode is the last truly great X-Files installment, marking the end of an era. This is also a reminder that I really don’t think mushrooms would be a good trip for me.

Clyde Buckman’s Final Repose- Season 3, ep 4: This should have been on our first list. This is one of those episodes that messes with you in all the right ways, blending the bleakness of fate with the grim comedy only Darin Morgan could pull off. When Clyde, a life insurance salesman who can predict how people will die, reluctantly lets Mulder and Scully into his world, it’s like stepping into an even darker corner of The X-Files. Peter Boyle’s portrayal nails the quiet exhaustion of a man resigned to his fate—someone who’s using his “gift” not to help but to scrape by, selling life insurance, of all things. He’s not here to outwit death; he’s just trying to keep himself sane. And in one of the most memorable moments with Mulder, he deadpans, “You know, there are worse ways to go, but I can’t think of a more undignified one than autoerotic asphyxiation.” We’ve seen Mulder’s closet.

The episode throws us everything from Mulder’s misplaced excitement about Clyde’s abilities to Scully’s struggle to rationalize the whole ordeal. It’s unsettling to watch Mulder so eager for supernatural proof while Clyde’s “gift” is an anchor, pulling him deeper into cynicism and despair. And then, of course, there’s Yappi, the “celebrity psychic” who brings the whole theme of truth and spectacle into focus. Yappi’s antics are absurd, but next to Clyde, he highlights just how little people want to face reality. I’ve never been more frustrated watching these so-called detectives fall for it, no matter how desperate they are for answers. I was right there with Mulder.

Watching Clyde drift along with this so-called gift, it’s easy to see why his story ends the way it does. He’s burdened by seeing the end of everyone’s story—over and over—until it becomes too much. Boyle’s performance captures the inevitability, a quiet peace in Clyde’s final choice, as if to say that not all answers are wrapped in meaning; some are just… sad truths, plain and simple. The episode’s mix of tragedy and dark comedy leaves you wondering about fate, free will, and, for just a moment, if you’d even want to know how you’re going to go.

Humbug- Season 2, ep 20: What happens in Florida stays in Florida, especially in the very real town of Gibsonton—a place where freak shows go to retire. If you grew up watching MTV in the ‘90s, you might remember the Jim Rose Circus, the eccentric sideshow that opened for bands like NIN and Lollapalooza. Rose even made his way to Ozzfest ‘99, though I didn’t make it until 2001. When Darin Morgan joined The X-Files writing team, his brother Glen told him to write an episode about sideshow performers, and that’s where Humbug was born. Morgan watched a tape of the Jim Rose Circus and cast Rose and The Enigma. Rose himself makes an appearance, and honestly, the guy looks and sounds a lot like John Darnielle—who, coincidentally, has become one of my personal inspirations as a Horror writer and lyricist for The Mountain Goats. It gets better though. They brought in Michael J. Anderson from Twin Peaks and Vincent Schiavelli, one of the best character actors of all time. Rose is pretty badass in this as well which makes me wonder why we didn’t cast him in anything else.

As Mulder and Scully navigate the strange world of sideshow performers, you get all the creepy bits you’d expect: The Enigma devouring a live fish (yes, that really happened), the funhouse scene that still haunts me, and Scully’s memorable tour of the Museum of Oddities. Not to mention the fact that “Humbug” literally means trick, which feels fitting for an episode where nothing is quite what it seems. And then there’s Gillian Anderson, who actually ate a real cricket on set.

The blend of humor and horror here is peak Darin Morgan. Mulder and Scully are the real outsiders in this episode, wandering through a world as foreign to them as it is to us. With lines like “Imagine going your whole life looking like that,” Morgan takes what could have been a simple freak show episode and turns it into something far more introspective, all while keeping us on edge with eerie moments like that funhouse scene. In the end, Humbug isn’t just about sideshow performers—it’s about how we define normalcy and the lines society draws between the “freaks” and the rest of us.

The Host- Season 2, ep 2: This episode doesn’t crack my top ten, but let’s be real—the nightmare factor is still burned in our brains. If you were a kid watching The Host, midnight bathroom trips turned into full on panic attacks, and porta-potties? Nope.

Even though it’s not my favorite episode, this thing had a hold on every 10-12-year-old who dared to watch. Squeeze and Home might be at the top of my scared the shit out of me list, but ask any fan what messed with them, and Flukeman’s name pops up without fail. This monster was just terrifying. It took six hours initially to get Darin Morgan in the Flukeman suit, and at one point he had to wear it for 20 hours straight. Because of this Morgan would have to just relieve himself in the costume—like an astronaut. It’s a rite of passage for all X-Files writers.

Now, let’s add to the horror: you’ve got the construction worker puking up a flatworm in the shower—a scene that leaves you with a phantom lump in your own throat. And Mulder? He’s back on his existential rant, talking about quitting, which, knowing Skinner’s true allegiance, is a little maddening in retrospect. Quitting the X-Files or closing down the X-Files becomes routine as well. Skinner’s the “friend in the FBI,” but he’s not that friend…yet. And let’s not forget Mulder’s suspect briefing—let’s tell Skinner about the giant blood sucking worm. Not to mention the Flukeman itself is basically a Chernobyl soup experiment gone wrong.

And also, what’s with the whole “institutionalize Flukeman” plan? As Mulder put it, “It’s not a man; it’s a monster.” This episode tried to handle the impossible, from arrest warrants to institutions, as if a radioactive sewer mutant has a social security number.

So here we are, we’ve reached the end. There’s something special about Monsters of the Week episodes. They let us take a break from the sprawling conspiracies and just bask in the thrill (or horror) of the unknown, reminding us why we fell for this show in the first place. So who knows? Maybe we’ll revisit a few more of these cases in the new year. Until then, just remember—trust no one.

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