Department Q, the popular Danish crime novel, has seen a film series adaptation since 2013’s Danish film, Department Q: The Keeper of Lost Causes. It would then be followed by 2014’s Department Q: The Absent One. Then, that installment would be followed by 2016’s Department Q: A Conspiracy of Faith. Those would then proceed with 2018’s Journal 64, 2021’s The Macro Effect and the upcoming Boundless. Additionally, Netflix will be producing a series based on the crime novels.
Deadline has just unveiled the cast for the upcoming Department Q Netflix show. The series, which is based on author Jussi Adler-Olsen’s popular works, is currently filming in Scotland. Matthew Goode, who is known for Antony Armstrong Jones in season two of Left Bank’s regal drama The Crown, has been cast as DCI Carl Morck, along with Chloe Pirrie, who you may know from The Queen’s Gambit, plays ruthless and ambitious prosecutor Merrit Lingard. Kelly Macdonald has been cast as Dr. Rachel Irving, a therapist tasked with getting officers back on the front line. Alexej Manvelov will be portraying Syrian cop Akram Salim, who was forced to flee to Europe and ultimately becomes part of the new department. Leah Byrne has been cast as Rose, a star police cadet left shaken by a breakdown and looking for a chance to prove herself in DCI Morck’s team.
The synopsis per Deadline says, “After a violent incident turns Morck’s life upside down, the emotionally scarred detective is charged with setting up cold case unit, Department Q, upon his return to work. At first, the disillusioned cop is happy to waste his days away, but his detective instincts are ultimately reawakened and his new department becomes a magnet for a crew of misfits and mavericks.”
Department Q will be headed up by showrunner Scott Frank of The Queen’s Gambit. Frank has also written the series along with Chandni Lakhani, Stephen Greenhorn and Colette Kane. Frank will additionally direct the first two episodes of the eight installments. Filming is underway and taking place in Edinburgh, where the show will be set.
True Detective creator Nic Pizzolatto was the mastermind behind the first three seasons of the HBO anthology crime series, but he’s not creatively involved in the latest season, True Detective: Night Country, despite retaining an executive producer credit on the show. He has made his lack of involvement with the new season very clear on social media, where he even went so far as to refer to one element of the new episodes as “stupid”. True Detective: Night Country comes to us from Tigers Are Not Afraid filmmaker Issa López, who directed and co-wrote all six episodes of the season. To find out what Lopez thought of Pizzolatto’s comments, Vulture reached out to her – and did get a response.
Screen caps of the comments Pizzolatto has made can be found on reddit. In response to a fan who said “I really hope Matthew (McConaughey) had enough respect for what you all did with season 1 to not show up in Night Country,” Pizzolatto said, “I certainly did not have any input on this story or anything else. Can’t blame me. Matthew doesn’t show up, nor would he.”
Another fan asked Pizzolatto, “Do you still have the season 1 lore document? It used to be around on Google, talking about how the Tuttles have a local construction business and whatnot. Apparently (in Night Country) they fund an arctic research station now.” Pizzolatto replied, “Haha. So stupid.“
When asked what she thought of Pizzolatto’s comments, López told Vulture, “I believe that every storyteller has a very specific, peculiar, and unique relation to the stories they create, and whatever his reactions are, he’s entitled to them. That’s his prerogative. I wrote this with profound love for the work he made and love for the people that loved it. And it is a reinvention, and it is different, and it’s done with the idea of sitting down around the fire, and [let’s] have some fun and have some feelings and have some thoughts. And anybody that wants to join is welcome.“
Despite the True Detective creator’s negativity, True Detective: Night Country does seem to be going over very well with a lot of viewers. As Vulture pointed out, the show’s 93% postive critical rating and 66% positive audience rating on Rotten Tomatoes are the highest numbers True Detective has reached since the first season. JoBlo’s own Alex Maidy loved Night Country, giving it a 9/10 review.
True Detective: Night Country picks up after the long winter night falls in Ennis, Alaska, as the six men that operate the Tsalal Arctic Research Station vanish without a trace. To solve the case, Detectives Liz Danvers and Evangeline Navarro will have to confront the darkness they carry in themselves, and dig into the haunted truths that lie buried under the eternal ice.
Jodie Foster (The Silence of the Lambs) and professional boxer Kali Reis star alongside John Hawkes (Deadwood), Christopher Eccleston (Doctor Who), Fiona Shaw (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1), Finn Bennett (The Nevers), Anna Lambe (The Grizzlies), newcomer Aka Niviâna, Isabella Star Lablanc (Long Slow Exhale), and Joel D. Montgrand (Average Dicks).
What do you think of True Detective: Night Country, and of the comments Nic Pizzolatto has made about it? Let us know by leaving a comment below.
INTRO: If there’s one word that perfectly sums up the bombastic nature of 80s action cinema, it has to be ‘excess’. Action behemoths, big hair, muscles, fantastical landscapes, and arm-wrestling matches that could be won by the simple flip of your favourite cap. It was an amazing decade for movies, and for action movie icons. Looking back on the early career of one of the era’s most iconic megastars, Arnold Schwarzenegger, there’s one thing that jumps out like doomed cannon-fodder from one of his movies; they were never dull. After having successfully conquered the world of bodybuilding, and subsequently the glitz and glamour of Hollywood, with career defining roles in Conan the Barbarian, Conan the Destroyer, The Terminator and Red Sonja, it’s clear that going bigger would be better for his career. Those movies highlighted how Arnie’s impressive physique could be utilised for maximum effect, whether he was wielding a sword as Conan, or destroying an entire police station as the T-800 in The Terminator, it was pretty clear that muscles and mayhem were very much on the menu for 80s audiences.
This is just as well, because the movie we’re revisiting today, 1985’s Commando, is a glorious example of 80s excess. You want violence, you get it in spades. Daft one liners? Yup. Over the top, memorable villains with awesome facial hair. You betchya!. That’s right movie fans, we’re heading up that secluded mountain to catch-up with retired special agent, John Matrix, before he’s forced to rescue a very young Alyssa Milano from his former unit. So, grab hold of that airliner’s wheel after despatching some rogue passengers, as we take a retrospective look at the Mark L. Lester classic from 1985, here on ARNIE REVISITED!
SET-UP: Back when I was just a young lad, skating around like I was Tony Hawk and trying my best to avoid detention at school, there was a video game I played on the awesome ZX Spectrum 48k. You know the one; rubber keys, terrible graphics, but utterly amazing at the time, that was a clear, if not official spin off from the movie we’re focusing on in this episode. Also called Commando, the run-and-gun viewed from above actioner saw you take control of a soldier called ‘Super Joe’ who’s dropped into the jungle and has to lay waste to hundreds of enemy soldiers. Sound familiar? Well, apart from betrayal and offspring being kidnapped, that’s pretty much the plot of Arnie’s wonderfully absurd movie Commando.
When Commando burst into cinemas in 1985, guns a-blazin’, it landed in a crowded marketplace with similar genre titles and stars who either packed their muscles with mayhem, or used their brains and an ingrained skillset to take out the bad guys. Stars such as Sylvester Stallone, Jean Claude Van Damme and Mel Gibson, plus characters like the recently obliterated James Bond, were dominating the action genre, alongside the Austrian Oak of course. Muscles and mayhem were big business, and the excess of the 80s was personified in action cinema. Arnie was fresh off a string of very successful movies, and was the saving grace in the entertaining but hardcore-action-lite Red Sonja, also released in 1985. The concept for the movie, as outlined by writer Jeph Loeb, was initially based around a soldier who had renounced violence; something you simply can’t fathom, given the gloriously over-the-top action in the finished movie.
Production on the film began in July 1985 and it was released an astonishing three months later on October 4th. This swift production schedule was mainly due to Arnie’s availability and also the studio’s desire to capitalise on the star’s rising popularity. Director Mark L. Lester had form in the action drama with his resume already full of B-movie fun with movies such as Steel Arena, Truck Stop Woman, Stunts, Gold of the Amazon Woman andFirestarter.Commando is arguably his greatest achievement and he didn’t stop making movies after it’s release, with his last feature to date, Dragons of Camelot not exactly being a masterpiece to say the least, but, fair play to him, he’s still working.
The production had an estimated budget of around $10 million, and was filmed mainly in California with location work at San Nicolas Island, the Pacific Coast at San Simeon, where Matrix goes to rescue his daughter, and is also home to the Hearst Castle Estate, where the scene in which the barracks are attacked is based. The film’s climax, when Matrix lays waste to countless enemy soldiers in wonderfully brutal ways, was filmed at the former main residence of the Harold Lloyd Estate in the Benedict Canyon district of Beverly Hills. One of the movie’s other main set pieces is the mall shootout, in which Matrix fights security guards and swings like Tarzan to try and apprehend one of the bad guys. It was also filmed in California at the Sherman Oaks Galleria and, aside from the frenetic climax of the movie, is probably one of the most iconic moments in the film. These locations suit the ridiculous action perfectly, but they can’t hide the fact that Arnie’s stunt double sticks out like a sore thumb whenever there’s a mad action beat that the production’s insurance couldn’t cover. Just check out that Tarzan swing, or some of the other stunts, and Arnie’s doppelganger is humorously nowhere near as buff as the star is.
Alongside the inimitable Austrian Oak, Commando also features a hugely entertaining supporting cast. Rae Dawn Chong is slightly jarring but often great value as an air stewardess who Matrix unceremoniously embroils in his revenge plan, spitting out some hilarious lines of her own and firing a missile launcher backwards. Dan Hedeya plays on of the main bad guys with his usual gurning panache, David Patrick Kelly is great as the suitably smarmy Sully, who Matrix despatches in a hilarious scene, andPredator star Bill Duke is superb as another mercenary who also has a memorable death scene after duking it out with Matrix. A very young Alyssa Milano manages to be one of the more palatable child actors of the time as Matrix’s daughter, and she shares a couple of unintentionally hilarious scenes with her dad at the beginning of the movie as they share ice cream and bond in their remote picturesque mountain top retreat, where no-one would ever think of looking for a former special agents operative, naturally. Best of all though, and one of the most memorably over the top performances as a villain in an action movie from any decade, goes to Vernon Wells as Bennet. His wide-eyed, manic stare and broad Australian accent elevates the character from what could have been a laughably bad performance, to one which makes the movie even more iconic. His fight with Matrix at the film’s conclusion is great, especially at one point when he’s electrocuted and uses his new found ‘powers’ to lay into Matrix, before being impaled hilariously by a flying steam pipe. Classic. 80s. Action! Also worth mentioning is a nice, all too brief cameo, with the late great Bill Paxton as an intercept officer.
REVIEW: When I first caught Commando as an impressionable youngster I was enthralled by the glorious violence, Arnie’s pumped up physique, plus the many forever quotable one liners that are littered throughout. However, as I was too young to catch it in the cinema I had to rely on its terrestrial TV debut which, unfortunately, was a heavily censored version, with most of the carnage left to my imagination. Some of the squibs were left in but a lot of the scenes where limbs are chopped off or heads sliced by flying razor blades were excised for the apparently squeamish TV audiences. Ridiculous. Even the fight with Bennet and Arnie at the end was cut, with the dust up suddenly cutting to both men bloodied and bruised and before I knew it, Bennet was impaled like the shark at the end of Jaws: The Revenge. However, I loved the movie, and by the time I finally caught the uncut version, my love of Arnie and all things 80s action-based was firmly cemented in my brain.
Looking back on the movie for this retrospective and yeah, it’s cheesy as hell in places, but that’s the point of these timeless classics. It clocks in at almost an hour and a half so there’s no time to establish Matrix’s relationship with his daughter, apart from the aforementioned ice cream scene, before she’s whisked away by the rogue mercenaries. The movie then follows that tried and trusted blue-print for action and revenge films, with one set-piece followed by another until the protagonist overcomes insurmountable odds until eventually overcoming an entire army, and a crazed Australian, before heading home with his rescued daughter. Who, by the way, doesn’t seem too fazed by almost being killed and probably witnessing countless bodies being eviscerated by her kick-ass dad, who, ya know, eats green berets for breakfast.
Overall, Commando does an admirable job of showcasing Arnie at his peak physically and also just as his star power was rapidly on the ascendance. Its plot is simple, as you’d expect, so if you’re looking for retro action with a more nuanced approach to the narrative then this movie will be lacking in depth in that regard. However, if you’re looking for some ridiculous action, great one-liners, and a movie that is most certainly a product of its time, then check out Commando as soon as humanly possible. Arnie set out to prove he was the king of the action genre at the time and along with a decent cast, a cool score by James Horner, and some glorious violence, he succeeded. Make sure you catch the uncut version, of course, so you don’t miss any of the carnage.
LEGACY / NOW:Commando was released in the US on October 4th, 1985, and was considered a success, grossing over $57.5 million, against a $9 million budget. The movie debuted at number one at the box office and stayed there for a further three weeks, before being usurped by hip-hop movie Krush Groove and the Jeff Bridges and Glenn Close thriller, Jagged Edge.
The movie was met with a mixed response from critics while review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes show the movie as having a 67% fresh rating over 36 reviews with its critics consensus saying that the film is, “the ultimate ’80s Schwarzenegger movie, replete with a threadbare plot, outsized action, and endless one-liners.” The New York Times didn’t appreciate the film, writing that, “two-thirds of this 90-minute film is mayhem unrelieved by humor and untouched by humanity,” and suggested that if sequels were to be made, “more clever writers and subtler directors will have to be found. Even a cinematic comic book needs more artful care than this one was given”. More favourable, however, was The Los Angeles Times, who said that the film was, “Full of spectacular stunts and shootouts, it’s a gory crowd-pleaser, directed with jolting efficiency by low-budget veteran Mark L. Lester. If his scenarists had only given Lester a finale with as much explosive punch as his opening scenes, the film could have been a real treat instead of a glorified fireworks display.” I’ve got to disagree with that last sentence; the movie’s climax rocks!
However, what’s YOUR take on the movie? Did Lester, Arnie and co. deliver a kick-ass 80s actioner that still holds up well today, or should the muscles and mayhem genre be something kept in the past, impaled on a steaming pipe? As usual, let us know in the comments and subscribe to our channel while you’re there. Thanks for watching our show and stay tuned for more Arnie-action. We’ll see you next time!
With games like the Resident Evil 4 remake and Death Stranding becoming playable on iPhones, it seems like just about anything can be a mobile game these days. Even Elden Ring, developer FromSoftware’s 2022 open-world RPG, could be coming to phones. At least that’s according to a recent report from news outlet Reuters,…
With games like the Resident Evil 4 remake and Death Stranding becoming playable on iPhones, it seems like just about anything can be a mobile game these days. Even Elden Ring, developer FromSoftware’s 2022 open-world RPG, could be coming to phones. At least that’s according to a recent report from news outlet Reuters,…
Back in November, The Hollywood Reporter revealed that Funny or Die regular Luke Barnett, who co-wrote, acted in, and produced the Christian film industry satire Faith Based, had signed on to star in a thriller called Teacher’s Pet. That project has since made its way through production, and our friends at Bloody Disgusting – along with director Noam Kroll himself – have confirmed that Barnett is joined in the cast by Clayton Royal Johnson (Stranger Things), Kevin Makely (Young Rock), Drew Powell (Curb Your Enthusiasm), Sara Tomko (Resident Alien), Josh Pafchek (Love, Victor), genre icon Barbara Crampton (Re-Animator), and newcomers Michelle Torian, Alexe-Anne Godin, and Makenna Ginn.
Kroll wrote a blog entry about the making of the film, complete with behind-the-scenes images, that can be read at THIS LINK. Kroll made his feature directorial debut with the 2012 drama Footsteps and has followed that up with the mystery thriller Shadows on the Road, the thriller Psychosynthesis, and another upcoming thriller called Disappearing Boy.
Teacher’s Pet tells the story of a malevolent new high school teacher with a sinister past who becomes disturbingly fixated on a brilliant female student. As he unveils his true sociopathic nature, the young woman is forced to navigate a treacherous battle of wits to survive high school.
Barnett plays the high school teacher, with Torian taking on the role of the brilliant female student.
Coming our way from Launch Releasing, Teacher’s Pet is produced by Launch founder and CEO Sheldon Brigman, as well as Richard Handley, Kayli Fortun, Brian Hanson, and Kroll. Barnett and Brigman receive executive producer credits alongside Kelby Thwaits and Charles Bunce.
When the project was first announced, Brigman provided the following statement: “We’re so excited that Luke is bringing his considerable creative talents to our film and team. We’ve been blown away by Luke’s approach to this complex character and can’t wait to bring this multi-layered and powerful thriller to audiences.“
Does Teacher’s Pet sound interesting to you? Share your thoughts on this one by leaving a comment below.
Anything with Barbara Crampton in the cast will have my interest, so I look forward to seeing how this thriller has turned out.
Martin Scorsese isn’t exactly known for his love of sports, once saying, “Anything with a ball, no good.” But he is now embracing the Super Bowl — well, a commercial, anyway. That’s right, Martin and his daughter Francesca Scorsese have their own Super Bowl commercial, leaning in to the TikTok videos that showed a (hip?) new side of Scorsese.
In the teaser for their upcoming Super Bowl ad for website maker Squarespace (which you can watch at the bottom of this article), Martin Scorsese is approached by Francesca while the maestro tries to develop a short film. One of the characters, he says, is a website…only Scorsese doesn’t know anything about them (or their character motivation). As for what his website will be about?: “A plea for intergalactic connection.” After quite a monologue about extraterrestrials, Scorsese tries to wrap his head around phrases like “domain” and “URL” and criticizes the font choices Francesca makes.
Finally, once all is settled, an excited Martin Scorsese says near the end of the Super Bowl teaser, “This website slaps, kids, doesn’t it? Is that slappin’ or what?”, a callback to the director and his daughter’s TikTok video where he tried to guess what Gen Z slang meant. That, too, is another video well worth checking out. On her father’s usage of slang, she told Vanity Fair, “Sometimes, he will use Gen-Z slang because he’s heard it, and it’s the funniest thing to me. I feel like hearing your dad say, “Oh yeah, that slaps,” or, “I’m so woke,” or whatever, it’s just so cringy to me. It just makes me crack up. He is from a different generation, so it’s a little—I wouldn’t say embarrassing to hear him say it, but it’s funny because it feels like he is really trying to stay current with my generation and with me.”
Francesca Scorsese has no doubt helped garner her father some younger fans (although Killers of the Flower Moon doesn’t exactly have the sex and drugs and wattage that The Wolf of Wall Street does), and their upcoming Super Bowl ad seems promising enough to continue Gen Z’s interest in his meme-worthy behavior. This might especially be true with the anticipated audience for Super Bowl LVIII, which may skew younger due to the draw of Taylor Swift being in attendance.
This might be Martin Scorsese’s first Super Bowl commercial, but he is no stranger to the form, helming ads for American Express, Apple, Dolce & Gabbana, and more. There, too, was The Audition, a short promoting a casino resort; more importantly, it marked the first time Scorsese worked with both Robert De Niro and Leonardo DiCaprio on the same project. Come on, give the man a Clio!
What do you think of the teaser for Scorsese’s Super Bowl ad? Does it slap? Let us know below!
Although everything has worked out in the end, Robert Downey Jr. recently recounted his original meeting with Christopher Nolan for Batman Begins, which never amounted to anything. When it came to his first big project, Nolan would screentest different people for his caped crusader. He knew he wanted Christian Bale for the role, but decided to also test film Cillian Murphy for it anyway. Nolan would reminisce with Murphy, “When we had our first conversation, I think both of us knew that you weren’t going to wind up playing Batman. But I really wanted to get on set with you, I wanted to get you on film. We did those screen tests very elaborately, on 35mm, with a little set. There was just an electric atmosphere in the crew when you started to perform.”
Similarly, Robert Downey Jr. recently revealed at a recent Q&A at Los Angeles’ American Cinematheque Theater that he met with Nolan for the part of Dr. Jonathan Crane, aka Scarecrow. According to People, Downey Jr. said Nolan just wasn’t feeling it with him. He expounds, “I’m pretty sure I heard about [this role] and I was like, ‘I’m Scarecrow.’ And then I remember meeting [Nolan] for tea and I was like, ‘He doesn’t seem like he’s really in on this interview.’” Downey Jr. continued, “And he was polite and all that. But you can tell when someone is kind of like, ‘It’s not going to go anywhere.’”
At this point in Downey Jr.’s career, he had been working steadily in projects, but would not yet be the draw that he became after Iron Man in 2008, which ironically was released the same summer as Nolan’s juggernaut sequel, The Dark Knight. Equally, that summer, Downey Jr. also co-starred in Tropic Thunder, which got him a Best Supporting Actor nod, although it went posthumously to Heath Ledger.
Iron Man started Downey Jr. down the path to superstardom as the Marvel Cinematic Universe gained steam. And while Murphy won the Scarecrow role, it wasn’t necessarily a big one. However, that was just fine to Murphy. He would work with Nolan on more projects, including the Dark Knight sequels, Inception and Dunkirk. Murphy stated last summer, “I have always said publicly and privately, to Chris, that if I’m available and you want me to be in a movie, I’m there. I don’t really care about the size of the part. But deep down, secretly, I was desperate to play a lead for him.”
As I get older, I find it harder and harder to find horror movies from the 80s and even 90s to qualify for a recommendation towards a best horror movie you never saw. First is the influx of all these great companies like Vinegar Syndrome, Arrow, and Severin Films, not to mention Kino and Scream Factory, who pull out all the stops finding the most hidden of hidden gems to clean up and release. Second, we have a ludicrous amount of streaming services, and the free ones typically can find these smaller movies that cost way less to license a streamable version. Between my generation recommending everything under the sun to their coworkers, friends, and family as well as newer generations being willing to stream something if its easy to find, the 80s is well represented, for better and for worse. The 2000s are CHOCK FULL of movies that came and went and don’t show up on physical media easily because they aren’t old enough or cool enough. Today we will look at a movie from 2008 that is way too fun and well done to be lost. Let’s look at why Splinter (watch it HERE) from 2008 is absolutely one of the Best Horror Movies You Never Saw.
When it premiered on Halloween night, 2008, not a lot of people knew what to expect with Splinter, well, except the ones that got to watch it on HDNet movies two days prior. And no, don’t ask me to elaborate on what HDNet Movies is. The director and uncredited writer Toby Wilkins read the original script and really liked the siege aspect of it but wasn’t crazy about the monster which he felt was overly generic and nothing to write home about. He and one of his friends were working on a parasitic horror film idea and decided that their monster could fit great in this tight, 82-minute story. He then decided that his creature would be different than other parasitic entities where the creature would not really understand how to use a human body properly or what it was supposed to do and not do. Like other movies in that very specific sub-genre, when the creature takes you over, there is a short amount of time that you are aware… or a long time if you are one of our characters.
Wilkins wasn’t super well known at the time as a director and the only other feature film he has under his belt is the following year’s The Grudge 3. That didn’t do well at all, but Wilkins has an eye for editing and special effects as his 19 editing and 30 special effects credits far outweigh his directorial output. In fact, his special effects resume is impressive with titles like Red Dragon, The Manchurian Candidate, and Scooby- Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed. Let me tell you, in this movie it shows. The writers of the movie are Ian Shorr and Kai Barry with some uncredited changes and additions from Wilkins. Having influences and inspirations from 28 Days Later and The Thing are great, and it shows what they were going for with homage rather than just straight imitation. The Thing pun very much intended. Ian Shorr only has 10 credits to his name but 2 of them are the Marble Hornets movie, that’s Slender Man for those who may not know, and the Mark Wahlberg movie Infinite from 2021. Barry has even less to his name with today’s movie, Juko’s Time Machine, and The Operative.
The movie opens with Magnet Releasing and there’s something about that symbol that fills me with hope from my Blockbuster days. Typically, on these smaller budget straight to DVD releases this was a sign of quality, or at least a fun time, with other movies like Time Crimes, Big Man Japan, Ong Bak, Murder Party, and The Host just to name a few. This label EARNED my trust, and I had no problem using one of my 10 free rentals a week. We are then introduced to a sampling of what the creature is when it attacks one of the only other actors in the movie and this is one of the only gripes I have with the movie. The camera is a wild child and I have a feeling it was used to cover up some of the less great practical effects. We then see nearly 80% of the cast of this film with two couples on opposite sides of the spectrum. We have the good guy couple with Paulo Costanzo’s Seth and Jill Wagner’s Polly who are on a couple’s anniversary getaway. They are the typical nerdy and good guy with good intentions and the girl who is stubborn and tough and quick on her feet that is out of his league. I respect the hell out of this. They have really good chemistry, and the actors make you care. Then we have Rachel Kerbs as Lacy and Shea Whigham as Dennis. Yep. Shea Whigham was actually the first person to sign on for this.
While he had done a few roles prior like Lords of Dogtown and Man of the House, he would build on this essentially star role and never really slow down, even appearing in the 2023 installment of Mission Impossible. Kerbs hasn’t done much of anything besides Splinter but does a fine job in her limited time. Wagner has done a lot in the TV realm, particularly in the Hallmark Christmas world but also was a regular on the Blade TV series. Finally, we have Paulo Costanzo who is probably more famous than Shae but not quite as recognizable, unless you were an Anamorphs kid or big into Royal Pains. He showed up in a few other early 2000s movies too like 40 Days and 40 Nights and Road Trip. Everyone here does a good job with the screen time they are given.
The relatively normal couple is then car jacked by the criminal couple and taken on a trip. Many of Shea Whigham lines were ad libbed for his role and he steals nearly every scene he is in as well as having more of a character arch than anyone else. They run over the creature we saw earlier, and Dennis gets a titular splinter in his finger. He doesn’t think anything of it but we know it will come back to hurt him like Chekhov’s sliver. They make it to a gas station to try and repair some of the car and Lacy finds the gas station attendant from earlier in the bathroom. He asks her to kill him like he’s Dallas in the director’s cut of Alien but then this thing takes over and attacks all of them, specifically injuring Lacy. The other 3 make it inside but see that Lacy is still moving and try to help her. This fails when her body starts to contort and move in unnatural ways before the final character, a police officer, enters the scene. She is also quickly dispatched, and brutally which sets off the tense standoff and siege atmosphere the movie does great with.
Many of the creatures were played by acrobats, mimes, and stunt persons to give them movement that appears both unnatural and natural at the same time. The movie uses nearly all practical effects and some of it absolutely qualifies as the best effects you’ve never seen too. They study the creatures, watching in horror as the cops’ two halves pull themselves together and Dennis is starting to get worse. On top of that, they cant figure out how to get out or stop the monsters and a severed hand gets in the store. Its an awesome scene that doesn’t have a lot of dialogue at first and just lets the tension set in. they escape to the freezer where Deniss arm gets worse to the point where it’s become its own small version of the creature ala The Thing. They try to study it at first and see what it’s doing and ultimately realize it can’t see through the cold. Unfortunately, with that knowledge victory comes the realization that someone needs an arm cut off and it is the most visceral this side of 27 hours.
The final plan includes lowering Seth’s body temp to get to the car and get them out of dodge. He makes it out and walks slowly past the creatures while the other two use fireworks and other sounds to distract. He makes it to the car, but he starts to warm up and is in trouble. The three of them fight off the creature and Dennis, who knows he isn’t long for this world, sacrifices himself to let the other two live. What’s great about that is when his arm was amputated, we all learn that his whole mission today was to get money to help the family of the man whose death he was responsible for. He gives them the key to a lockbox and the address is Wrigley Field in what I’m pretending is a call back to The Blues Brothers.
While it had such a limited release in theaters that box office numbers are hard to come by, it was still seen by some people in theaters and when it was released to rent, I remember my Blockbuster getting about 8 copies to put out. While that doesn’t sound like a lot, it rented out consistently. The movie is short and to the point with a run time of less than 90 minutes. It has 6 whole humans that show up in it and does exactly what it sets out to do. It’s sad that its so underseen and sometimes hard to come by because while it doesn’t need a sequel, it’s a blast of a movie with a really fun creature. The creative team didn’t go on to stardom and the movie didn’t impact 2008 with too many modern classics like The Ruins, The Strangers, Mirrors, Quarantine, and Saw V. Even the smaller seen had bigger hits with Teeth, Midnight Meat Train, Repo, and Diary of the Dead. Splinter exists in a weird time after it would have been considered a classic but before it gets the mega physical media package. All we can do is pass the word along when someone asks you for a Best Horror Movie They Never Saw.
A couple previous episodes of the Best Horror Movie You Never Saw series can be seen below. To see more, and to check out some of our other shows, head over to the JoBlo Horror Originals YouTube channel – and subscribe while you’re there!
In the opening cutscene of Persona 3 Reload, protagonist Makoto Yuki walks by someone with a Pride pin on their bag. The shot lingers for a few seconds, making it hard to ignore this detail, a new addition for this remake of Atlus’ 2006 role-playing game. The moment also ends up serving as a pretty decent…
