The upcoming Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F is being anticipated with anxious eyes as Eddie Murphy returns to his beloved role of Axel Foley, which solidified his status as an A-list star in 1984. It’s seemingly a delicate thing to get right as the nature and quality of Eddie’s movies (and comedy in general) has evolved over time. Even with a director like John Landis, for many, Beverly Hills Cop III just didn’t quite land. While there are a lot of elements in place for this fourth entry, the many stop/starts and years stewing in development hell and a director who hasn’t yet established himself can naturally make fans a bit antsy.
Now, Netflix has released an all-new peek at the upcoming Eddie Murphy vehicle with a clip from the movie. And “vehicle” is the word, as the clip features a rushing Axel trying to coax Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s character into piloting a helicopter, much to his chagrin. The synopsis of the film reads, “Detective Axel Foley (Eddie Murphy) is back on the beat in Beverly Hills. After his daughter’s life is threatened, she (Taylour Paige) and Foley team up with a new partner (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and old pals Billy Rosewood (Judge Reinhold) and John Taggart (John Ashton) to turn up the heat and uncover a conspiracy.”
Despite being older, Eddie can still have his energy is turned up to the quintessential Axel Foley level in this clip as he continuously barks at Gordon-Levitt. The film’s director, Mark Molloy, told Netflix, “Some of the funniest moments in Axel F are when Eddie’s improvising. For me, a big part of my job was to create the right environment, cast the right people around Eddie to allow him to do what he does best.” Although we’re far removed from 1984, Jerry Bruckheimer says the juxtaposition between Detroit and Beverly Hills is as large as it ever was, “Detroit is a much different city than Los Angeles and especially Beverly Hills. He still has the same kind of wonderment at the things you see walking down Rodeo Drive.” Molloy adds, “As we were scouting going from Detroit to Beverly Hills, the cultural contrast that made Axel a fish out of water in the eighties still is so vivid. They might just be the two most opposite places in America.”
PLOT: Westeros is on the brink of a bloody civil war with the Green and Black Councils fighting for King Aegon and Queen Rhaenyra, respectively.
REVIEW: It was always going to be an uphill climb for House of the Dragon to live up to the peak of Game of Thrones. With an uneven first season but still better than the ending of the series that inspired it, House of the Dragon concluded its first season with the beginning of a civil war between Targaryens vying for the Iron Throne. Despite solid performances from Paddy Considine, Matt Smith, Emma D’Arcy, and Olivia Cooke, House of the Dragon‘s sprawling time jumps and reliance on dragons rather than intriguing characters worth investing in made it hard to care about what happened until the war began. Even though it is two episodes shorter than the previous season, House of the Dragon begins with energy and does not let up. With momentum on its side, this new season is an improvement over the first but is still not quite on par with Game of Thrones.
The marketing for season two of House of the Dragon has been heavily focused on taking sides. The split between the Greens and the Blacks refers to those who align with King Aegon (Tom Glynn-Carney) and Queen Dowager Alicent (Olivia Cooke) versus Rhaenyra (Emma D’Arcy) and Daemon (Matt Smith). While you may think this is more of the same from where the first season left off, the updated opening titles provide an early indication that House of the Dragon has undergone a soft reset. Gone is the image of blood flowing through a scale model of King’s Landing, replaced by a tapestry woven as it connects the threads of the families warring for control of Westeros. It is a fitting symbol of this season’s more tightly-knit narrative, which also opens with a visit to The Wall, where a Stark regales the importance of protecting the North from Wildlings and reminding us that Winter is coming. While Winter is still a ways away, the sentiment of how this series shows events that will set the board for Game of Thrones is fitting.
Having seen the first four episodes of the eight-episode second season, I am confident in the improved pacing and structure of House of the Dragon. By having everything set in one time period, we have more time to invest in the characters, all more ingrained than last season. The premiere episode also boasts one of the most shocking moments to date and something that has repercussions throughout the first half of the season. I have seen each of the four episodes feature tense sequences that are superior to anything in the first season. I won’t divulge any spoilers here, but neither sequence involves characters with substantial screen time in season one. Focusing on more supporting players while still giving the main ensemble ample time helps the viewer invest more in the proceedings of this story. I found myself thankful for more for Mysaria (Sonoya Mizuno), Ser Cristen Cole (Fabien Frankel), Lord Jason Lannister and Ser Tyland Lannister (both played by Jefferson Hall), and a collection of new characters introduced this season. By broadening the cast, we have more diversity in storylines but also more candidates to be slain by the season’s end.
That is not to say the main cast is underutilized. Matt Smith and Ewan Mitchell continue to play two of the most dastardly characters in this universe. Smith is once again masterfully conniving as Daemon Targaryen, while Mitchell’s Prince Aemond is still a creepy-as-hell villain. As King Aegon II, Tom Glynn-Carney does his best to undermine the legacy of his father and the machinations of Ser Otto Hightower (Rhys Ifans) and his mother. Each episode I have seen, which clocks in at one hour or longer, is intriguing and packed with development for everyone. Last season, each episode glossed over weeks, months, and sometimes years, whereas this season’s condensed and focused structure is noticeable. Each episode connects to the previous directly and gives us a deeper look at what repercussions every decision has in store for the Blacks and the Greens. To see I was impressed by the improvements would be an understatement. Yet, it still feels like something is missing that will take this series to the next level.
The first season benefited from veteran Game of Thrones helmer Miguel Sapochnik directing three episodes. His departure for season two opened the door for fellow Thrones director Alan Taylor to come aboard. Taylor helms the premiere and the four episodes, with House of the Dragon season one helmer Clare Kilner and Geeta Patel directing episodes two and three, along with another episode each this season. Andrij Parekh and Loni Peristere direct the remaining episodes. Showrunner Ryan Condal returns to write the opening episode along with Sara Hess, bridging the experience within the Game of Thrones mythology. Condal and Hess have upped the tension and palace intrigue along with the action and battles for this season, but there is still something lacking. The music, the cinematography, and the visual effects are all better this season than in season one, but House of the Dragon still cannot help but feel indebted to the endgame it is heading toward. With seasons three and four already being developed, there are certainly plenty of stories to tell, and with this season keeping the plot focused on the early days of the war, it means there is a lot to come. Still, the jarring shift from ten episodes spanning decades to eight episodes spanning months is noticeable.
Had this season of House of the Dragon been the introduction to this Game of Thrones prequel rather than the first, I would imagine there would have been a far warmer reception for the series. The early renewal for this season shows that HBO and audiences are invested in exploring Westeros. This season is easily better than the first and sets a far more consistent pacing that makes for a more enjoyable run of fantasy storytelling. This season is sexier, bloodier, and more interesting, but it still has a way to go before it can be as good as the first seasons of Game of Thrones. The improvements in House of the Dragon are immediate from the beginning of the season premiere, and I am confident they will last through the finale. But, until this series can give us something that Game of Thrones did not, House of the Dragon is just another chapter in a long history rather than the unique destination viewing that the first series gave us.
Season two of House of the Dragon premieres on June 16th on HBO.
On January 1st, the earliest versions of Mickey Mouse – seen in the animated shorts Plane Crazy, The Gallopin’ Gaucho, and most famously Steamboat Willie – became public domain… which, of course, means we’re now going to get multiple horror movies that feature characters inspired by Mickey Mouse. Within the first three days of the year, we saw the short film The Vanishing of S.S. Willie, a trailer for the slasher movie Mickey’s Mouse Trap, and an announcement that Terrifier 2 producers Steven Della Salla and Michael Leavy and director Steven LaMorte, who previously made the Grinch-inspired horror movie The Mean One, were teaming up for a Steamboat Willie-inspired horror flick that we now know is titled Screamboat. David Howard Thornton plays Art the Clown in the Terrifier films and brought the horror version of the Grinch to life in The Mean One, so it’s no surprise that we’ve just received a press release announcing that Thornton will also be playing the horror version of Steamboat Willie in Screamboat!
Thornton is joined in the cast by Allison Pittel (Stream), Amy Schumacher (The Mean One), Jesse Posey (Teen Wolf), Jesse Kove (Cobra Kai), Rumi C Jean-Louis (Hightown), Jarlath Conroy (George A. Romero’s Day of the Dead), and Charles Edwin Powell (The Exorcist III). Filming is set to take place this summer, and the press release promises the movie will “feature a number of yet-to-be-announced cameo appearances.”
Screamboat will tell the story of a mischievous mouse that stalks a group of New Yorkers on a late night ferry ride, unleashing murderous mayhem on a relaxing commute. Can the ship’s motley crew of travelers find a way to stop a killer creature who has developed a taste for tourists? A previous press release told us LaMorte and the producers are “promising buckets of blood and unhinged chaos as their miniature mouse attacks a group of ferry commuters against the unmistakable backdrop of New York City’s iconic skyline. Screamboat will feature a mix of practical creature effects, miniatures, and cutting edge virtual production to showcase its very mischievous monster slashing his way through a ferry of fear.”
LaMorte is producing Screamboat with Amy Schumacher, Martine Melloul, and the previously mentioned Steven Della Salla and Michael Leavy. Kali Pictures, Sleight of Hand Productions, Reckless Content, and Julien Didon serve as executive producers. The director provided the following statement: “I’m thrilled to be working on Screamboat with such a killer cast from horror legends to comedy icons. David Howard Thornton is bringing our mischievous and murderous take on Steamboat Willie to life like never before. I can’t wait for audiences to laugh and scream with us onboard Screamboat!“
Thornton added: “I’m beyond excited to join this incredible cast and bring Steamboat Willie to life with a horror twist. Screamboat is going to be a horrific and hilarious big screen thrill ride that fans won’t want to miss.“
Iconic Events Releasing will be giving Screamboat a theatrical release sometime in 2025.
What do you think of the cast that has been assembled for Screamboat, with David Howard Thornton taking on the role of Streamboat Willie? Let us know by leaving a comment below.
One of the cool surprise announcements from this year’s June Xbox Showcase was Life Is Strange: Double Exposure. The latest entry in the supernatural adventure series will return to original protagonist Max Caulfield as she solves the murder of her friend by jumping between alternate timelines. While that’s an…
One of the cool surprise announcements from this year’s June Xbox Showcase was Life Is Strange: Double Exposure. The latest entry in the supernatural adventure series will return to original protagonist Max Caulfield as she solves the murder of her friend by jumping between alternate timelines. While that’s an…
Sony has just released the details of the Blu-ray release of Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire. The new adventure from our favorite paranormal investigators and exterminators is set to have the standard DVD release along with a Blu-ray as well as a 4K UltraHD format. Additionally, there will be a special steelbook release of the 4K version. Details are below!
The official synopsis reads, “In Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire, the Spengler family returns to where it all started – the iconic New York City firehouse – to team up with the original Ghostbusters, who’ve developed a top-secret research lab. But when the discovery of an ancient artifact unleashes an evil force, Ghostbusters new and old must join forces to protect their home and save the world from a second Ice Age.”
SPECIAL FEATURES
4K UHD & BLU-RAY EXTRAS
Deleted & Extended Scenes
Easter Eggs Unleashed
Return to the Firehouse: Making Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire
Busted: Capturing the Ghosts of Frozen Empire
Manifesting Garraka
New York, New Gear
Welcome to the Paranormal Discovery Center
Knowing the Score
Commentary with Director, Co-Writer Gil Kenan
DVD
Return to the Firehouse: Making Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire
Busted: Capturing the Ghosts of Frozen Empire
2-MOVIE COLLECTION SPECIAL FEATURES
4K UHD & BLU-RAY EXTRAS
GHOSTBUSTERS: FROZEN EMPIRE
Deleted & Extended Scenes
Easter Eggs Unleashed
Return to the Firehouse: Making Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire
Busted: Capturing the Ghosts of Frozen Empire
Manifesting Garraka
New York, New Gear
Welcome to the Paranormal Discovery Center
Knowing the Score
Commentary with Director, Co-Writer Gil Kenan
GHOSTBUSTERS: AFTERLIFE
We Got One! Easter Eggs Revealed
Ghostbusters: A Look Back
Bringing Ecto-1 Back to Life
The Gearhead’s Guide to Ghostbusters Gadgets
Deleted Scene
And more!
SPECS
Run Time: 115 minutes
Rating: PG
4K UHD: 2160p Ultra High Definition / 2.39:1• Audio: English Dolby Atmos (Dolby TrueHD 7.1 compatible), French (Doublé au Québec), Spanish 5.1 DTS-HD MA, English & French (Doublé au Québec) Audio Description Track 5.1 Dolby Digital • Subtitles: English, English SDH, French, Spanish • Color • Some of The Information Listed May Not Apply To Special Features or the Blu-ray disc
Blu-ray: 1080p High Definition / 2.39:1 • Audio: English, French (Doublé au Québec), Spanish 5.1 DTS-HD MA, English & French (Doublé au Québec)- Audio Description Tracks 5.1 Dolby Digital • Subtitles: English, English SDH, French, Spanish • Mastered in High Definition • Color • Some of The Information Listed May Not Apply To Special Features or the DVD.
DVD: 2.39:1 Anamorphic Widescreen • Audio: English, French (Double au Quebec) 5.1 Dolby Digital, Spanish, English & French (Double au Quebec)- Audio Description Tracks Stereo • Subtitles: English, English SDH, French, Spanish • Color • Some of The Information Listed May Not Apply To Special Features.
The 1990s were a great time for television sci-fi. It was the heyday of Star Trek, with The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine and Voyager all running in syndication. But, at the same time, another science fiction show, Babylon 5, pushed the envelope and arguably paved the way for loftier fare, such as the acclaimed Battlestar: Galactica reboot. What made Babylon 5 so special?
For one thing, it pioneered the idea of serialized television. Under the helm of J. Michael Straczynski, who dipped his toe into similar fare with the short-lived Captain Power and the Soldiers of the Future (another Gone But Not Forgotten favourite), Babylon 5 was unique in that it told one continuous story over its five-season run. If you were a fan of the show, you really couldn’t afford to miss one episode, with so much continuity between each episode that the entry point for non-viewers was almost non-existent. Many of us who watched it got into it when it started airing in re-runs (such as on The Space Channel in Canada) where you could record every episode to avoid missing anything. All this made the show more cultish and niche, but it was great.
In this episode of Gone But Not Forgotten, we dig into Straczynski’s epic, including how a season two retool, which introduced Tron star Bruce Boxleitner as the series’s heroic protagonist, Captain John Sheridan, helped ground a highly political series which, like most really good sci-fi, was highly allegorical in its depiction of interplanetary war, religion, faith, and more. While the archaic CGI has made the show a challenge to watch for newer generations, it remains a landmark series that was a huge event for those of us who grew up in the 90s, and deserves to be remembered.
Check out our video (embedded above) and let us know if you think the series stands the test of time!
The new Texas Chainsaw Massacre video game from Gun Interactive was just released for PC, PS5, PS4, Xbox Series X|S, and Xbox One back on August 18th, and the developers have been keeping a steady flow of updates coming ever since. As we’ve previously covered, tomorrow – June 11th – they will be adding a new villain character to the game in the form of Hands, the man who inspired Leatherface to start wearing masks of human flesh. They’ll also be adding a new victim character, and this one is an unexpected move: Maria Flores, the young woman whose disappearance kicked off the events of the game, is now going to be a playable character!
Fans have assumed that Maria was dead, but that’s not the case. As explained on the game’s official website, “Maria Flores, voiced by the talented Stephanie Panisello, is the heart and soul for our cast of Victims. Her disappearance sent shockwaves across central Texas and her sister Ana’s life. As a lover of art and nature, Maria’s fateful trip (head to her Instagram page here) to explore the vast Texas countryside during wildflower season put her in grave danger with the Slaughter Family. Having caught the attention of ‘Pretty Boy’ Johnny, she was stalked and abducted by him. Maria seemed lost to the outside world. However, deep within the bowels of the Slaughter Family’s property, Maria was alive and fighting like hell for her survival. Amidst the horrors, she began to realize that something strange was happening. She was being kept alive because of Grandpa. His affinity towards her was perhaps some sort of past connection. All she knows is that she has to use this vulnerability against Grandpa to escape the nightmarish hell she’s living in and escape for good!” More information on Maria and what she brings to the game can be found at the website link.
Stephanie Panisello provided the following statement: “Getting into Maria’s headspace was definitely not a happy place to be in but finding the strength and resilience to push further when all odds of survival were stacked against her, was a treat to discover. Her desire to live is incredible. She had me pulling from my own Latin upbringing that taught me to create possibility where there may not be and to always find the beauty in life- though it’s the very thing that got her in this position, I’d like to think it’s also what’s kept her alive. I can’t wait for the world to finally experience the character that started the whole search.“
Matches of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre video game pit 4 victim characters against 3 killer characters. The story of the game has the following set-up: When Maria Flores went missing, and local law enforcement seemed to stall out in their search, her younger sister Ana teamed up with some of Maria’s friends from college to pick up the trail. The game takes place before the events of director Tobe Hooper’s 1974 classic The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (watch it HERE).
Kane Hodder (who also worked on Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III) did the motion-capture performance for Leatherface in the game, as well as the Grandpa character. Other motion-capture performers include Sean Whalen (The People Under the Stairs) as The Hitch-hiker; Troy Burgess (Swedish Dicks) as The Cook; Kristina Klebe (Don’t Kill It) as new killer character Sissy; and Dove Meir (Dig) as new killer character Johnny. Scout Taylor-Compton (Rob Zombie’s Halloween) did the mo-cap for all of the female victim characters while Hunter C. Smith (Lucky) did the mo-cap for all of the male victim characters. Although Whalen did the mo-cap for the Hitch-hiker, Edwin Neal, who played the character in the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, provided his voice for the game. Damian Maffei (The Strangers: Prey atNight) provided the voice of Johnny, and Michael Johnston of Teen Wolf did the same for Danny. BAFTA winner Cissy Jones did the mo-cap and vocal performance for Nancy. Robert Mukes (House of 1000 Corpses) brought Hands to life. Barbara Crampton provided the voice and likeness of a character named Virginia. You can find out more about the killer characters at THIS LINK and the victim characters HERE. To learn more about the voice cast, head over HERE.
Have you been playing the Texas Chainsaw Massacre video game, and are you looking forward to playing as Maria Flores? Let us know by leaving a comment below.
Writer/director Rian Johnson has taken to social media to let us all know that filming has officially begun on his new film Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery – which, as you can glean from the title, is indeed the latest installment in the series of murder mysteries that Johnson began with Knives Out in 2019 and continued with Glass Onion (pictured above) in 2022. At the heart of these films is private investigator Benoit Blanc, played by Daniel Craig – and Johnson went ahead and shared a black and white image of Craig on set and in costume, bringing Benoit Blanc back to life on the first day of filming Wake Up Dead Man:
Aaaaand we’re off! Today is day 1 of shooting on the next Benoit Blanc mystery “Wake Up Dead Man” – see you on the other side. pic.twitter.com/Napfvq1zXT
Like Glass Onion, Wake Up Dead Man will be released through the Netflix streaming service. Here’s the logline: Benoit Blanc returns in his most dangerous case yet.
Craig is joined in the cast of this one by Josh O’Connor (Challengers), Glenn Close (Dangerous Liaisons), Josh Brolin (No Country for Old Men), Mila Kunis (Black Swan), Jeremy Renner (The Hurt Locker), Kerry Washington (Scandal), Andrew Scott (All of Us Strangers), Cailee Spaeny (Civil War), Daryl McCormack (Good Luck to You, Leo Grande), and Thomas Haden Church (Spider-Man 3).
Johnson told Tudum that assembling the cast for these mystery films is like “throwing a dinner party. We’ve been very lucky with each of these movies to have gathered some of my favorite actors on the planet, and that’s absolutely the case here. They’re also all lovely folks who get along, which is the dinner party aspect of it. When you’re making an ensemble movie like this I think that’s key.” Johnson also addressed the fact that Renner was already featured in Glass Onion, on the label of Renning Hot habanero chili pepper sauce. “Jeremy’s a great actor who I’ve wanted to work with for a long time. I was very relieved he thought the hot sauce thing was funny! He’s playing a proper part in this one, we’ll keep the sauce off screen. Maybe we’ll sneak a few bottles onto the catering table.“
Are you looking forward to Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery, and are you glad to hear that filming has begun? Take a look at the first image of detective Benoit Blanc, then let us know by leaving a comment below.
The episode of WTF Happened to This Horror Movie? covering Amityville 3-D was Written by Mike Holtz, Narrated by Travis Hopson, Edited by Juan Jimenez, Produced by Andrew Hatfield and John Fallon, and Executive Produced by Berge Garabedian.
You’ve heard the horrific true story of Ronald DeFeo Jr. You’ve heard of the alleged true story of the Lutz family who moved in afterward. You may have even watched Paulie from the Rocky franchise move into the same house and face a horror scarier than anything a haunted house could ever conjure… his own kids… brother and sister… you know what? I can’t even say it. Don’t you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby. Just watch Amityville II: The Possession. Bring a loofa and some bleach though because you’re going to want to scrub that off of your memory. Just when you’ve seen it all when it comes to a place up on Ocean Avenue,this third installment brings Amityville to your eyeballs with a PG rating. In 3-D. Featuring Meg Ryan and Becky from Full House. Welcome to WTF Happened to Amityville 3-D. Also known as Amityville III: The Demon (watch it HERE) if you’re nasty.
The story starts with 1982’s Amityville II: The Possession, a moderate box office success despite its weirdness (SERIOUSLY WHO OKAYED THE BROTHER-SISTER STORYLINE?) pulling in over 12 million dollars on a 5 million dollar budget. The film would also become something of a cult hit thanks to a wild storyline, amazing practical FX, and fun Evil Dead or Exorcist-type moments. Some even deem the film the best of the franchise. But not everyone was happy…
The Lutz family, who had claimed to be terrorized in the house for twenty-eight straight days, barely making it out with their lives (and potential book and movie licensing deals) were suing Producer Dino De Laurentiis. The Lutz family claims that Orion’s films titled Amityville II and Amityville 3-D mislead audiences to believe they were follow-ups to the allegedly true stories the family allegedly experienced inside the Ocean Avenue home. They claimed these new sequels were messing up their chances at their own follow-ups to the story which were set to tell the story of the events and hauntings the family allegedly went through AFTER leaving the home. ALLEGEDLY! Which, they of course also optioned the film rights for.
The courts would eventually side with Orion Pictures that the family could not allege that the word Amityville had somehow acquired a secondary meaning, leaving De Laurentiis and Orion to do their dark 3-D bidding. However, the production company notably had to include in the marketing material that this was NOT in fact a sequel to either the first or second films in the franchise. But you know it, I know it… everyone knows it. Speaking of which, I really can’t understand why we don’t just make a slasher movie with a guy in a hockey mask named Mason Short-trees who murders construction workers in the woods and call it a day while the Friday the 13th people make up their damn minds… but here we are. And so, a new Amityville sequel… ah, shit… non-sequel was in the works. And how can you make a film that’s the third film in a franchise, NOT seem like a third film in a franchise but also, kind of probably let everyone know that it is the third film in a franchise while the marketing noticeably says it is not the third film in a franchise? You put a “D’ on it. That sounded weird. Amityville 3-D was born. The film would be the latest picture to give 3-D a go in the horror world, following the footsteps of Jason Voorhees in 1982’s Friday the 13th Part 3andJaws 3-D.
The 3-D effect is a nice footnote on horror sequel history but in the end, didn’t do much to make the film more interesting. At one point, the effect is used heavily as a character tosses a frisbee into the audience. This is the kind of thing that makes you wonder just how easily entertained your own dumb ass is. Reviews weren’t impressed either, claiming it was headache-inducing and made the images blurry. More confusion ensued with the home release of the film, as viewers were naturally upset when they got their copy of Amityville 3-D home only to discover that not only did it not include the awesome novelty of the 3-D glasses, but that the film wasn’t in 3-D at all. And that, my friends, led to the re-release and re-naming of the film: Amityville III: The Demon. Which is listed in the encyclopedia as the most original film title of all time. Allegedly. Today, there are special editions of Amityville 3-D that you can order that come with 3-D glasses for your enjoyment. Which kind of like most of the things we collected from the 80s and 90s were fun…regardless of how pointless they were. You get your dirty hands off my POG collection, Dad.
Fantastic Voyage and Soylent Green director Richard Fleischer would helm the not third sequel in the franchise, written by David Ambrose under the name William Wales for….reasons? The casting would include Tony Roberts of Serpico as John Baxter, whose character was loosely based on real-life human being and paranormal investigator Stephen Kaplan. The word “loosely” meaning Dutch for “thou musn’t sue”. According to Kaplan, the Lutz family once reached out to him to investigate their haunted home after their alleged experiences. Kaplan agreed and told them his services were free….but with the caveat the public would be informed if it turned out to be a hoax. Which allegedly led to them canceling the investigation, prompting even more skepticism about both them and the famed Ed and Lorraine Warren’s claims about the house.
To round out the rest of a fascinating cast, No Country for Old Men’s Tess Harper plays the soon-to-be ex-wife of John Baxter, Horror stalwart Robert Joy hails as paranormal research skeptic Elliot West, and Zodiac’s Candy Clark portrays John’s colleague Melanie who is about to suffer one of the best death scenes in the whole franchise.
You’re sure to also recognize the daughter, Susan, played by Lori Laughlin of Full House fame and not a recent white-collar crime that happened, and Meg f*cking Ryan? Yep. Just like Randy Jackson’s autograph on a Katana sword, you aren’t going to NOT have Meg Ryan in your 3-D horror movie if given the chance. Even if her character is ultimately there to give some of the dumbest exposition you’ll ever hear in a movie. Speaking of dumb exposition, let’s get into exactly what happened in the film…
When Amityville 3-D opens up the title drop features the letters flying at our faces in a way that makes us feel like we’re on the world’s stupidest slide. This entire situation is ridiculous and you know it but we’re having fun, I think. For now. Next, we’re treated to a séance inside the home but wait! It’s actually a sting operation meant to debunk a couple of frauds posing as paranormal experts (cough, Ed and Lorraine Warren, cough) by a reporter and his friends. They wait until the lights are off and the séance is in full swing before a crew member starts taking flash photos all over the room, exposing a guy in a black onesie running around with a broomstick. This leads to old lady scams-a-lot awkwardly spitting right on Melanie’s face, which in 2024 is definitely assault but in 1983 it was considered a compliment, I guess?
We find out that our debunker John Baxter (who bears a striking resemblance to Ron Burgundy mixed with Ron Pearlman) is desperate to get away from his wife. So desperate that he decides to buy the home for himself. Because he’s the coolest guy at Shenanigan’s. Once he does; horrible, no good, very bad things start to happen to him, and visitor encounters with the home end in death. A real estate agent gets My Girl Macaulay Culkin’d by a large amount….of flies….somehow… and photographs of the man taken previously are developed to the realization that he was, in fact, Leatherface. Blame it on bad luck if you like but once the house is purchased, strange things begin to happen to John Baxter and friends. He’s almost killed by an elevator and a friend is… sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher? John’s teenage daughter Susan is talked into sneaking into the house while her dad is away by her friend Meg Ryan who’s obsessed with the occult and denim clothing. Here, they find the previously dubbed “gateway to Hell” which is given a way worse origin story by Meg Ryan who literally explains “It was burst open by some colossal supernatural power from the depths of the earth. This is supposed to have been an ancient Indian burial ground. The tortured spirits are still down there waiting to rise up and claim their land.” Wow, that’s totally original and something I’ve never heard of before!
Later, as John’s friend Melanie leaves the home with some proof of demonic dealings, her brakes go out because one of the ghosts must have been a mechanic. Melanie is then involved in a car wreck that in no way was simply a plot device to get this giant pipe flying at the audience in 3-D. She then catches fire and burns to death in front of onlooker and Happy Gilmore’s homeless caddy. In a movie that’s PG-rated and otherwise devoid of many scares, this is a pretty memorable and f*cked up (bleeped) moment that again, is one of the best death scenes in the franchise. But that doesn’t mean it’s the only “mean” moment Amityville 3-D has to offer. Later in the film, John’s daughter drowns off screen in the water behind the home. She appears as a spectral presence, walking through the home in front of her mother as they perform CPR on her lifeless body outside. This understandably completely FUBAR’s her mom’s brain, who refuses to leave the home ever again. Ultimately, reporter and Curious George caretaker John decides to let a group of paranormal researchers come over and investigate, led by our guy Robert Joy. Here’s where things get wicked stupid as we’re all led by Susan’s Pink Ranger spirit force to the well in the basement where they try to trade for her soul. Instead, whatever the f*ck (bleeped) this thing is, pops up and drags Elliot into the Hot Tub Hell Machine before the home explodes, debris flies into our faces and John is left standing outside with nobody left in his life except for the wife he was so desperately trying to escape. Then a purple fly is seen flying out of the hole-o-death inside the home. Dead ass serious.
Orion Pictures would release the film the week before Thanksgiving in 1983 to the tune of nearly 2.5 million on the opening weekend and ultimately just over 6 million throughout its domestic run. This may not sound like much but the film did have the number one box office haul in its opening weekend. Not to mention 6 million adjusted for inflation is closer to a 21 million dollar opening by today’s standards. That doesn’t sound so shabby. However, the budget for Amityville 3-D is unknown. This would also turn out to be the last Amityville released in theaters for over twenty years when Ryan Reynolds would bring both the franchise and wet t-shirt contests back to the forefront in 2005.
Perhaps it was a money thing. Perhaps the constant legal issues with the Lutz family were no longer worth the hellish hassle. Or it could have been the doubt that a fourth entry would succeed theatrically after Amityville 3-D royally pissed off some fans and critics alike. Reviews for the film would feature complaints that the 3-D gimmick wasn’t worth the effort with Siskel saying, “all you ended up with was eyestrain and this little cardboard on your nose”. Even without the 3-D, modern critics agree, with the film currently sitting at a 14% “rotten” rating on the review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes. But the fans love it, right? No, Lisa. They are tearing it apart as well with an 18% Rotten audience rating.
In the end, Amityville 3-D seems like it would be a goofy, fun time in everyone’s favorite all too exploited haunted house. What we get instead is a super serious and kind of sad movie with a weird ending featuring some kind of “Not-the-mamma” sewer monster. But at least there’s some fond memories of it. Allegedly. I mean, it has to be at least more appreciated than some of the other entries into this public domain nightmare of a franchise that includes titles like Amityville Scarecrow, The Amityville Moon, and my personal favorite, Amityville Vibrator. By those standards, Amityville 3-D or Amityville III: The Demon to South Central While Drinking It’s Juice In The Hood might as well be Citizen fricking Kane. So good job, guys!
And that my friends, is just WTF happened to Amityville 3-D. Thanks for reading! And remember…don’t buy a home on an Indian burial ground, okay? Though, in the current housing market, I really wouldn’t judge you. You might have to actually offer your body to the demons for financial returns just to pay the mortgage. Side note, I would totally Air B & B a night at the Amityville. Whether anything happens or not, you could write a book or five about it. Maybe sue someone? Go to Bed Bath and Beyond. Maybe Home Depot? Nice little Saturday. Have a good one, everybody.
A couple of the previous episodes of WTF Happened to This Horror Movie can be seen below. To see more, head over to our JoBlo Horror Originals YouTube channel – and subscribe while you’re there!
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