Well, everyone, the winners for the 22nd Annual Golden Schmoes for the year 2023 are in. As expected, Christopher Nolan’s Oppenheimer walked away the big winner, earning nine Schmoes. It took home most of the big prizes, including Best Movie, Actor, Supporting Actor, Director, Screenplay, Poster, Trailer, Line of the Year and Best Sequence. While an excellent showing that beat the seven wins Everything Everywhere All At Once took home last year, it still falls short of our all-time winner here at the Schmoes, Nolan’s own The Dark Knight, which won an amazing 12 awards.
Otherwise, the winners were an eclectic mix. Godzilla Minus One, which is now widely considered the greatest Kaiju movie ever made, took home three awards, including Best VFX, which is impressive considering how small its budget was compared to the competition. Third place was an interesting tie, with John Wick: Chapter 4, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, and Barbie all winning two awards each (although as Barbie’s 2nd award was for Most Overrated Movie, not sure that’s really a “win”). Another interesting win is that Tom Cruise won the Favorite Celebrity of the Year Award for the second year in a row. Always happy to see Mr. Cruise, one of the last of the living legends, get his due!
Meanwhile, Disney had a rough year at the Schmoes, with only Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 having a decent showing, winning for Best Music in a Movie. The only other award the House of Mouse took home was one I’m sure they’d rather not have won – Biggest Disappointment, which was “awarded” to Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. Ouch. On the upside, they didn’t end up taking Worst Movie this year for the widely reviled Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania. Instead, that “honour” went to a movie our man Tyler Nichols recently railed against, Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey. I wonder if the sequel will take this award next year, too.
Check out all of the winners for the 2023 Golden Schmoes below:
Most Wins:
Oppenheimer: 9 wins
Godzilla Minus One: 3 wins
(Tie) Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, Barbie, John Wick Chapter 4: 2 wins
Favorite Movie – Oppenheimer – Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse – John Wick: Chapter 4 – Barbie – Killers of the Flower Moon
Worst Movie – The Flash – Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania – Exorcist: Believer – Expend4bles – Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey
Best Director – Christopher Nolan: Oppenheimer – Yorgos Lanthimos: Poor Things – James Gunn: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3 – Martin Scorsese: Killers of the Flower Moon – Greta Gerwig: Barbie
Best Screenplay – Oppenheimer – Barbie – The Holdovers – Killers of the Flower Moon – Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
Most Overrated Movie of the Year – Barbie – Oppenheimer – Maestro – The Super Mario Bros. Movie – Killers of the Flower Moon
Most Underrated Movie – Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves – The Creator – The Iron Claw – Renfield – Guy Ritchie’s The Covenant
Trippiest Movie – Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse – Poor Things – Infinity Pool – Beau is Afraid – Asteroid City
Best Comedy – Barbie – The Holdovers – No Hard Feelings – Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves – Bottoms
Best Horror – Talk to Me – Scream VI – Evil Dead Rise – Thanksgiving – M3GAN
Best Animated – Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem – Elemental – The Boy and the Heron – The Super Mario Bros. Movie
Best Sci-Fi Flick – Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3 – Godzilla Minus One – The Creator – Infinity Pool – Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
Breakthrough Performance – Dominic Cessa: The Holdovers – Abby Ryder Fortson: Are You There God, It’s Me, Margaret – Lily Gladstone: Killers of the Flower Moon – Sophie Wilde: Talk to Me – Cailee Spaeny: Priscilla
Biggest Disappointment – Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny – The Flash – Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom – Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania – Shazam: Fury of the Gods
Biggest Surprise – Barbie – Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves – Godzilla Minus One – Wonka – Talk to Me
Best Actor – Cillian Murphy: Oppenheimer – Leonardo DiCaprio: Killers of the Flower Moon – Zac Efron: The Iron Claw – Paul Giamatti: The Holdovers – Jeffrey Wright: American Fiction
Best Actress – Emma Stone: Poor Things – Margot Robbie: Barbie – Lily Gladstone: Killers of the Flower Moon – Carey Mulligan: Maestro – Greta Lee: Past Lives
Best Supporting Actor – Robert Downey Jr: Oppenheimer – Mark Ruffalo: Poor Things – Robert De Niro: Killers of the Flower Moon – Charles Melton: May/ December – Ryan Gosling: Barbie
Best Supporting Actress: – Rosamund Pike: Saltburn – Da’Vine Joy Randolph: The Holdovers – America Ferrera: Barbie – Julianne Moore: May/ December – Emily Blunt: Oppenheimer
Coolest Character – John Wick: John Wick Chapter 4 – Caine: John Wick Chapter 4 – Ken: Barbie – Barbie: Barbie – Ethan Hunt: Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning
Best Music – Oppenheimer – Barbie – Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse – Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3 – Killers of the Flower Moon
Favorite Poster – Oppenheimer – Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse – Barbie – Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 – Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny
Best Trailer – Oppenheimer – Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 – Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning – Killers of the Flower Moon – Barbie
Most Memorable Scene – Oppenheimer: Trinity Test – Barbie: Battle of the Ken’s – John Wick Chapter 4: Finale – Godzilla Minus One: First Attack – Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse cliffhanger ending
Best Action Sequence – Dead Reckoning: Train Sequence – Extraction 2: 20-minute “oner” – Across the Spider-Verse: Spider-Society Chase – John Wick: Chapter 4: Staircase Sequence – Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3: No Sleep till’ Brooklyn Fight
Favorite Celebrity – Cillian Murphy – Margot Robbie – Ryan Gosling – Emma Stone – Tom Cruise
Best Line of the Year – I am Kenough: Barbie – I believe we did: Oppenheimer – Now I am become death, the destroyer of worlds: Oppenheimer – Gloria’s Speech: Barbie – Imma do my own thing: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
Best Special Effects of the Year – Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 – The Creator – Oppenheimer – Godzilla Minus One – Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning
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